Thursday, June 9, 2011

I [Still] Own A Powder Blue Bidet

You know how when you see something every day for, say... 3+ years... you stop seeing it? Until, one day, you wake up and say "wow, I had forgotten how weird/odd/ugly that is?" And no, I am not talking about my husband!

When we bought our non-farm house, it had been on the market for a little while because it was ugly and weird it had some interesting design touches. Things like decorative stencils, haunted house chandeliers, an indoor hot tub, photographic tile of river rock... seriously, that tile reminded me of those 3D Magic Eye puzzles (stare at it long enough and an image pops out at you).

Anyway, the house had "character." Oh, did I mention the blue? Yeah. Everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) was blue. Carpet, counter tops, tile, linoleum, blinds, toilet, tub, hot tub, roof, bidet...

"Yah, we get it Annie, it was all blue. Move this story... wait. Did you say 'bidet'? What the hell is a bidet? Isn't that one of those fake half toilet things that squirt water up your...?!?" So glad you asked.

Bidet [Bid-A] (from Wikipedia): "Bidet is a French word for pony (and in Old French, bider meant to trot). This etymology comes from the notion that one rides a bidet much like a pony is ridden. In addition, the bidet is also referred to as the 'garden hose.'"

Seriously. You can't make that stuff up. Now, before all you bidet riders out there get your panties in a twist, I am not going to denigrate your beloved bidet. In fact, you are more than welcome to your beloved bidet... and mine, for that matter. See, we aren't really bidet riders here. Chalk it up to our un-cultured American-ness if you must. I am sure our bidet is a very nice bidet, as bidets go. I mean, in powder blue, it obviously didn't come off the shelf. Definitely a custom order.

But in a small-ish bathroom, already overloaded with dark blue marmoleum, blue counter top, blue sink, blue toilet, and blue bathtub... well, the blue bidet is just a little much. It was a little much 3 years ago when we bought the house... and we just sort of stopped seeing it. As it now doubles as a bowl shaped magazine stand, it is hard to actually see. I know, we have CLASS stamped all over us. And just for the record, as soon as my friend Christy saw it, and she said "Look! A water fountain for Ava!" we turned the water off.

So the bidet has to go. It is time. We have tile samples and floor samples and I am ready to remodel. The first thing to go? Gonna be the blue bidet. And before the bidet people get offended because this poor, beautiful, blue bidet will ride (be ridden?) off into the sunset... we are going to give you a chance to purchase rescue it. Craigslist, here our bidet comes... but first, may I suggest you get in the mood by reading Young House Love?


Krysten said...

Sweet! I can't wait to see you (and the bathroom samples!)

Annie said...

Yay! You can help me choose!!! See you soon!

Christy said...

Bidet. you are MINE! Bwahaha.