It's Curtains for You!

I am a recovering pack rat.

Collecting design ideas is one way I can channel my hoarding tendencies. I cut them out of magazines and file them in a binder full of clear sheet protectors. (Yes, I'm a bit type A as well). I figure I can "collect" design ideas for years and never fill the spare bedroom or devote the garage to nick-knacks like baby elephant figurines or framed photos of lighthouses. Anyway, I digress, I was looking through the binder today and came across this page.

Now I originally collecte it because I liked what they did with the yellow trim on the pillows. Yellow is my favorite color and I'm always looking for tasteful ways to incorporate it into my home (read: anything but blue and yellow country ducks in the kitchen).

Anyway I also have this problem:

You may not really notice the "problem" until I tell you but I got cheap and bought two smaller blinds (the ones that look like reeds). This design trick, hang curtains longer than your windows and then obscure the wall above the actual end of the window with a decorative blind, gives the effect of tall, elegant sweeping windows when, in actuality, the windows are standard height. Well as you can see the blinds are split and don't really pull this off.

Enter my design binder...for the genius solution!

Did you see it?
Look again...

Okay, I'll help you, the curtains are in the middle of this window! Well, at least some of them are. So in the easiest design solution I've EVER executed...I... get this... Pulled the curtains in!!!

TA-DA!
Can you tell I'm excited?
Anyway it was easy and I'm pretty tickled.

A few other notes about the curtains.
I bought oversized pannels from Ikea for something like $24 a pair.
I also bought curtain rods and little clippy rings. No idea what the technical term for those could possibly be. I cut off the tabs on the top, remember I'm going for sweeping/elegant/modern not "cute", and folded them over until the bottoms of the panel just touch the carpet. Voila!

Not this many design ideas are this easy.
It's almost like design drive through.

You could do this with a babe in one arm.
You could do it after a night of partying.

Heck, a 3 year old could execute this one.

This is not a derogatory statement about three year olds.

Tall "custom length" curtains for less than $300! (wayy less than $300).
You could even do this with a sheet in a tasteful color.

So, Go forth BODC-ers, and move your curtains!

Two blue toilets and one big problem

It might surprise you all to know that this isn't our first house with a blue toilet. Our old house, in California, also had a blue toilet in the master bath.  And a blue sink and a blue tub.  But not a blue bidet.  Check it out (pre-remodel):

Stunning eh?  No wonder the blue bidet didn't phase us.  We also had pink and brown tile. Which, when the walls were painted something other than yellow, actually looked kind of fun.  Well... even if we didn't get all the way to "fun" we at least moved off of "hideous" which is where we were when we bought the place.


No strangers to colored porcelain

Anyway, I am way off the point.  Back to the current bathroom.  We are building a custom shower!!!  And to do that you need expanded metal lath and concrete for the shower floor.  To find expanded metal lath in a hardware store, just look for a large sheet of something you would use to grate cheese.  Or your knuckles.  When you are bleeding, I am sure you have found it.  The cheese grater metal lath reinforces the mortar or concrete and makes it strong and crack-free.   We put a slip sheet (not exactly sure what that does, evidently something to do with slippage) down on the plywood floor, followed by our metal lath, and then mortar. 

The mortar (sand mix, technically - did you know there were a million names/ingredient lists for a product that I would call mortar) has a slight slope to it so the water will drain out.  Next up, we will be putting down a PVC liner and more mortar.  Then we are approaching tile!  Wahoo!!

For those curious, we do have running water and appear to be leak free.  We also installed a pocket door and a false wall (just 3 inches to allow the door to slide) and did NOT choose to move the pipes.  Could it have been done?  Probably.  But given our luck with plumbing, we decided to fight another battle.

Look! It is a sideways mortar bed! (Sorry for the lack of rotation)

On to the big problem.  Nope, no leaks in sight.  It is worse.  I am having a little bit of trouble picking out colors.  Okay, I am having a lot of trouble.  Some people can look at a house or a room and just know what needs to happen.  I am not one of those people.  Rachel, Christy, Krysten... they are those people.  Megan is probably one of those people, but I haven't really seen her decor since college and it isn't fair to judge a person's interior design ability when they are poor and eating Top Romen every night.  Not that Meg ate Top Romen... I actually remember her eating pretty well... but you all know what I mean.  Moving on.

I am most definitely NOT one of those smart decor people.  It is evident that I was in the back of the line when style sense was being handed out.  Before you all rush to my defense... remember I wore gym shorts and birkenstocks (with socks) for four years of high school.  And two years of college.  I have low maintenance stamped all over me.  So picking out colors for a bathroom is hard.

It was easy in our old house.  The house was a ranch and it was retro.  So I just went with what was there.  But this new house isn't really a "style." I guess that means I have to find my own style - and that is the problem.

This bathroom remodel is testing my whole philosophy of being balls out and sinning boldly and trying new things.  Not the plumbing part or the electrical part or the concrete or tile parts - we have that down (now). Honestly, it is the decorating part that has me running scared.  How bizarre is that?   But what if I pick out tile that I end up hating in two months?  There is NO WAY Aaron is ever going to let me remodel this bathroom again.  This is a one shot deal.  And what if I pick out tile that looks dated?  Or is hard to clean?  Not that I clean all that much, but when I do, I want it to be easy.

The biggest barrier to the bathroom color scheme (other than me) is this honey gold pine trim.  It is all over the house and Aaron is 100% anti-trim painting. And as this is the man who just re-plumbed a bathroom, moved a door, relocated an a/c vent, rewired electrical switches and built me a shower pan... well, if he wants the trim to stay, it stays.  So.  Now I, the design-challenged one, am trying to figure out what looks good with golden pine trim.  Oddly enough, you don't see many modern houses with gold trim.  Kind of a Versailles thing.  Or a country thing.  And while I don't really know what I like, I do know I don't want to bathe in the Palace of Versailles or a scene out of Little House on the Prairie.  No offense to people who like country.  Or opulent palaces dripping with gilded mirrors.  Before you get offended, remember I admitted don't have any sense of style.

Anyway, these are the colors I am thinking about now. 

See?  They are all together on a factory sheet!  That is good, right?

What do you think?  Bad?  Good?  Hideous?  Yeah, I don't know either.  Maybe I should go with blue.  I hear that is nice.

Leak-A-Thon Part Duex

Words seem... inadequate.

The shoelace is not to stop the leak... that appears to need divine intervention.  The shoelace is to stop the Plop. Plop. Plop. sound the water makes while dripping into a bucket.  Who knew?

Late Night Leak-A-Thon

So remember the blue bidet?  This one? Yeah, we are in full swing on that remodel project.  Bidet out.  Blue out.  Bathtub out.  It is a do-it-yourself orgasma.  And last night?  I plumbed until 3 AM.  Sounds dirty, doesn't it?  A late night sweating copper pipes with the lusty red-hot flames of a blow torch...  I know you wish you were there. 


Leaky pipes

 Why were we up until 3 AM? Well, my husband was determined to get the water restored so we could have showers.  It was a stupid manly idea.  Did I mention the part about having to turn off the water to the house in order to re-plumb the bathroom?  Oh yeah, no running water.  With a potty-training toddler.  Why would a potty-training toddler mean you need water?  The following statements actually came out of my mouth in the past 24 hours:

"Ava.  We do NOT use toothbrushes and toothbrush holders to bail water out of the toilet."

"Good job telling Mommy you need to use the potty!  Do you need help getting on the potty?  No? Okay.... Ava, take your foot out of the toilet please."

See?  Water (and antibacterial soap) is a necessity.

We did our first leak test around 9 PM (after I returned from drinking wine bathing Ava at Rachel's house).  And discovered that we had a lot of leaks.  Irritating, plop plop plop leaks.  Leaks that meant no water to the house.  After midnight, I wished Aaron a happy Father's Day and offered to buy him a plumber as a present.  He didn't think it was funny (who was joking?) At 2:30 AM, when we were down to two leaks, we through in the towel.  Not literally, as throwing in the towel does imply bathing, and there was none of that. 

The only way these leaks would have been fun was if it were a drinking game.  Every time you hear or see a leak, take a shot!  Not good.  I have high hopes we will have water again momentarily.  Just in time for us to consider the next "oh &^%$" moment.

While Aaron was plumbing away (you didn't think it was me sweating pipes with the blow torch did you?), I was happily ripping out sheet rock.  I went witching for screws with a magnet and started the demo.  The first side came off great - no problem.  The second wall, where we are going to put a pocket door (replacing the hinge door that cut into half of the vanity), well... that was where we hit a pipe problem.   One sewer pipe and one drain pipe.  Who knew?

Problem (but not leaky) Pipes (note blue carpet in background)

So now we have a problem.  Well, depending on your perspective and your affection for running water, we have lots of problems.  The problem I am referring to is that *#$(^ door.  Hey, I am remodeling on four hours of sleep.  It is a *#$(^ door. 

Do we:

A) put the old door back (losing 4-6 inches of valuable vanity space)
B) put in a smaller pocket door (24-25 inches, depending on the estimate)
C) build a false wall (losing 3ish inches of bathroom width, but not having to move pipes, and getting a full size pocket door)
D) put in an exterior "barn door" type door (and lose wall space for towel racks etc)
E) hang a bead curtain

Wait!  I have to go!  I hear water!  Wish me luck!

I [Still] Own A Powder Blue Bidet

You know how when you see something every day for, say... 3+ years... you stop seeing it? Until, one day, you wake up and say "wow, I had forgotten how weird/odd/ugly that is?" And no, I am not talking about my husband!

When we bought our non-farm house, it had been on the market for a little while because it was ugly and weird it had some interesting design touches. Things like decorative stencils, haunted house chandeliers, an indoor hot tub, photographic tile of river rock... seriously, that tile reminded me of those 3D Magic Eye puzzles (stare at it long enough and an image pops out at you).

Anyway, the house had "character." Oh, did I mention the blue? Yeah. Everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) was blue. Carpet, counter tops, tile, linoleum, blinds, toilet, tub, hot tub, roof, bidet...

"Yah, we get it Annie, it was all blue. Move this story... wait. Did you say 'bidet'? What the hell is a bidet? Isn't that one of those fake half toilet things that squirt water up your...?!?" So glad you asked.

Bidet [Bid-A] (from Wikipedia): "Bidet is a French word for pony (and in Old French, bider meant to trot). This etymology comes from the notion that one rides a bidet much like a pony is ridden. In addition, the bidet is also referred to as the 'garden hose.'"

Seriously. You can't make that stuff up. Now, before all you bidet riders out there get your panties in a twist, I am not going to denigrate your beloved bidet. In fact, you are more than welcome to your beloved bidet... and mine, for that matter. See, we aren't really bidet riders here. Chalk it up to our un-cultured American-ness if you must. I am sure our bidet is a very nice bidet, as bidets go. I mean, in powder blue, it obviously didn't come off the shelf. Definitely a custom order.

But in a small-ish bathroom, already overloaded with dark blue marmoleum, blue counter top, blue sink, blue toilet, and blue bathtub... well, the blue bidet is just a little much. It was a little much 3 years ago when we bought the house... and we just sort of stopped seeing it. As it now doubles as a bowl shaped magazine stand, it is hard to actually see. I know, we have CLASS stamped all over us. And just for the record, as soon as my friend Christy saw it, and she said "Look! A water fountain for Ava!" we turned the water off.

So the bidet has to go. It is time. We have tile samples and floor samples and I am ready to remodel. The first thing to go? Gonna be the blue bidet. And before the bidet people get offended because this poor, beautiful, blue bidet will ride (be ridden?) off into the sunset... we are going to give you a chance to purchase rescue it. Craigslist, here our bidet comes... but first, may I suggest you get in the mood by reading Young House Love?